📩 A Bad Night, One Request, Two Predictions

Last December, I came within inches of turning a messy situation into a company-defining mistake. Not because I didn’t know the “right” move, but because my emotions were begging me to do the wrong one.

This note is simple. No frameworks. No fancy lessons. Just a quick story, one ask, and two predictions.

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The night things went sideways
It was our first end-of-year celebration as a real team. Nine of us, a tiny studio, and a plan that sounded harmless: dinner, then a few rounds of bowling.

One teammate arrived already buzzed. Loud jokes, sloppy confidence, that “I’m fine” energy that never stays fine. We tried the gentle approach. Water, food, a quiet check-in. We told ourselves it would settle.

It didn’t.

At the bowling alley, he started picking at our ops lead. Not teasing, not playful. Mean. Personal. The kind of comments that make a room shrink. When a couple of us stepped in, he spun toward me and demanded I “prove” I was in charge, right there, in front of everyone.

I felt my face get hot. You know that moment where your body wants to win the scene, not solve the problem.

He kept going. Bigger voice. Bigger audience. Phones out. Staff from nearby lanes staring. My mind started writing the movie version where I put him in his place and everyone applauds.

The decision that mattered
Instead, I took one breath and lowered my voice.

I told him we were leaving, now. No debate. No lecture. No performance.

Outside, he tried to bargain. Then he tried to blame. Then he tried to bait me again. I wanted to unload. I wanted to make him feel small. I wanted to match his volume and end it with a clean, sharp line.

But the stakes were bigger than my pride. A young business. A small team that watches everything you do. Trust that takes years to earn and minutes to crack.

So I kept it boring.

I called a ride and sent him home. I texted one teammate to make sure he got there safely. Then I went home, too, and let the anger burn off in private.

The next morning, we ended his employment. Not because I was mad, but because the behavior was a line we couldn’t unsee.

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One ask

If you’ve been in a moment like that, where you had to choose between “react” and “lead,” reply with the one sentence you wish you’d told yourself sooner.

Two predictions

1. More companies will shift celebrations earlier in the day, with shorter timelines and clearer endpoints. Not because fun is dead, but because fewer late-night variables means fewer career-altering mistakes.

2. Teams will get more explicit about conduct expectations before social events, the same way they do before client meetings. The best culture isn’t the one that “trusts everyone,” it’s the one that protects everyone.

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